I’ve debated all week on whether or not I should write this post. It is personal and vulnerable, but the subject is sitting heavy on my heart. When Stephanie and I first started this blog we always said we wanted our personality and life outside of just clothes to be shown.
This Mother’s Day marks my 10th without my Mom. I lost my Mom and best friend in December 2016 from cancer. It was a long battle and unfortunately one that was not won. I struggle with the heartbreak every day and some days are far better (or worse) than others. They say time heals everything but I am not so sure I can agree with that. Her anniversary, birthdays and Mother’s Day are always the hardest.
Although I have been extremely lucky for the strong women who have been put into my life that I am able to celebrate Mother’s Day with: my grandmothers, neighbors I grew up with that turned into lifelong family, my boyfriend’s mom, Stephanie’s mom, and Stephanie (you are a rockstar and the coolest Mom). And then there’s my Dad. A huge shout out to my Dad for playing the mom role for two dramatic, shopping obsessed, moody yet lovable daughters.
I live each day in hopes I am somehow making my Mom proud. I hope to carry her with me everywhere I go whether it is in a bad joke, a deep belly laugh or sharing a memory I have of her.
In honor of her, for Mother’s Day this year I wanted to share 5 things I learned from her and always take with me:
- Always share a smile. My Mom always wore the biggest smile. If it wasn’t from the chemo taking her hair, you would have never really known she was sick. She pushed through every day with happiness and made sure to share her smile with others. You never know what battle someone is fighting and she always said even the slightest smile could help.
- Appreciate the little things. It is easy to get lost in the materialist world and put so much value in the things we own. Every time my mom got out of the hospital we would sit on our back porch because she just wanted to feel the fresh air and see the sunshine. You begin to realize that beauty is in the little things.
- Courage & strength. It’s okay to be scared, but you always have to keep a bit courage inside you. I am firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even the shitty situations. Her courage and strength are what push me through the bad days and give me the opportunity to share her story.
- Tell a bad joke. She was the queen of bad jokes, but she didn’t care. It was an opportunity to put herself out there and make someone smile. I grew up shy and always concerned what people thought about me. I was always envious how she could go up and talk to anyone without hesitation. She wasn’t worried about the weird joke or what people thought. I still admire that about her.
- Believe in yourself and make mistakes. I still struggle with this one sometimes. I doubt and second guess a lot of my decisions, but that is how I learn to push forward. My Mom was my #1 cheerleader and I can still feel her cheering me on. If you don’t push yourself and make mistakes, you can’t grow.
If you made it this far in the post, thank you for sticking with me me! However you choose to celebrate Mother’s Day, I hope you enjoy and be sure to hug your loved ones a little closer today.